Back in France after a week in Asda!

The main reason I went to the UK in March 2008 was to meet my new grand daughter, Lucy, born on February 28th.. much to my son's dismay; he was hoping for February 29th to reduce birthday present costs! He also pointed out she could not go into a pub until she was in her seventies.. but as a 'mini-moi' diva she arrived three hours before leap year day! In case you are interested, mum, baby, dad and sister all doing well. The cat is not impressed as she is locked out now at night and it is a bit windy!.. but not as windy as the baby!

Lucy (looby loo) is divine, and although my other grand daughter, Charlotte (Lottie loo)(2 years old) is even more divine and calls me 'silly Gwanny' we all had fun in Asda buying pork pies, sausage rolls, clothes, books, clothes, prawn cocktails, squidgy white bread, oh and clothes.. and a lot more.

My husband (Monsieur Darling) remained in France to care for the four dogs, four cats, various hibernating snakes and spiders and to help my french partner (French bird) in the bar, which no doubt included quality checks of the 1664.

Well I am back, with smuggled sausages, pork pies, sausage rolls and hot x buns.. yum.

The regulars in the bar who are a strange but lovable lot and mostly artisans in rural france ("it has worked like this for years, why change it??") were glad to see me back but very preoccupied with the French elections for a new Mayor.

Blimey, I thought the American presidential nomination milarky was complex, but here apparently they keep on voting until there is an overall majority; it can last for weeks..

Our town apparently got the man they want in the first round, so just like the end of the Sarkowsi victory elation, no doubt in a few months they will resort to moaning about Jacques the Lad, as they do about so much.... but that is why we love them.. isn't it????

First one in the bar was Janice, a resident at the local Maison de Retrait (Old People's Home). She is about 4 foot tall, and her eyes and forehead peer above the counter as she demands her small glass of rose wine (only one euro!!! what a bargain).. she watches avidly as the glass is filled, shouting 'plein, plein' if it is not spilling over the brim.

Allegedly she is 68 years old, an ex prostitute, who is not that ex as for 10 euros she will apparently oblige in the public loos.. not sure if this is with or without the teeth, which unfortunately do not fit her mouth so they swirl around as she speaks; but, bless her, she likes to fit her Gitanes fag between the top of the teeth and her gums.. and continue talking!

Of course we are not able to view this party trick (the fag in the gums, not the toilet business) so much now as France has actually bowed down and is obeying the No Smoking in Public Places ban.. We are all amazed; surely this must be the first time they have obeyed a law without protest?

Over 80% of our customers are smokers, but it is strange they go outside for a fag but will not take their drink with them as it is not polite to drink in the road!

I guess that explains why it is mostly tourists who enjoy the many French terraces during the summer months.

Interesting French Fact (FF)... apparently in France, communion wine is white wine, unlike the red wine in Britain, and the reason...... wait for it, white wine is drunk in the mornings (presumably that is when communion takes place) and red wine is strictly for after lunch.. and presumably the rest of the day!!

Hey ho.. a + tard xx